Wake Me Up When September Ends
by Kohaku Minamoto
Summary: My son thinks that I can't see much. Others think I'm a drunken prostitute. But that's not true. I see a lot more than you give me credit for. Oneshot, songfic. Atsuko centric.


I was browsing through the Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction and I guess I just realized that there aren't really that many Atsuko fanfics. Even though she's not really a major character and doesn't show up much after the Dark Tournament Saga, she's still an important character, you know! She's the one who brought up Yusuke and made him who he is! Give her some credit!

**DISCLAIMER**: Don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, and don't own the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends." That's by Green Day.

**WARNING**: Some swearing that is kinda hard for me (I don't commonly swear), and a few mentions of rape.

* * *

I open my eyes to blindingly bright light. Shielding my eyes with my hand, I run my tongue over my teeth and grimace at the sour taste. _Shit._

The house is completely silent. Of course it is. Yusuke's never around anymore, except to sleep at night. He's always hanging out with his friends, even during mealtimes. Not that I blame him. Having a mom that's constantly drunk must be pretty tough. Not that I'd know, of course.

It wasn't always like this for me, you know. Somehow, I've been reduced to this – hopelessly addicted to drugs and alcohol, and I'm not even thirty yet. As hard as it is to believe, I was once a normal kid. But it's amazing how little it takes to change that all around.

**_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_**

I was thirteen, going on fourteen. I was a straight-B student in school and quite pretty. I had big dreams then. I wanted to go to a top-rate college and become a toxicologist. I was surrounded by close friends and constant admirers. My parents loved me. I was happy.

Two weeks after I turned fourteen, a guy I knew called me and told me that he was throwing a party at his house while his parents were away. I happily accepted – my parents were out of town too, and I was bored out of my mind. Throwing on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, I hopped on my bike and rode to the guy's house.

The party was in full swing by the time I got there. Music blasting from the speakers and girls sashaying around in skirts so short they could've passed for underwear models. People laughing and screaming as they danced together. I found one of my friends and she dragged me onto the dance floor. I was a good dancer, and we soon drew quite a crowd of boys around us.

Eventually, I got thirsty and went to go find something to drink. I walked past a couple making out by the door and passed into the kitchen. No one was there except a high-school girl that looked about sixteen. I asked her if there was anything to drink. She handed me a cup full of some kind of pungent liquid. I thanked her and downed it.

It felt strange. I liked the taste of the drink and held out my cup for more. The girl smirked and poured more in. I gulped it down, then found that my brain was buzzing pleasantly. I walked out to the dance floor and started dancing again.

The combination of that drink - I found outlater that it was booze -and the loud music was intoxicating, and I soon didn't even know what I was doing. I screamed just like everyone else, laughed whenever someone fell down, talked with people I didn't even know. Maybe I even cried – I don't know. I was too wasted already.

Soon, this hottie came up to me and asked me to dance with him. I eagerly accepted, grabbing his wrist and pulling him onto the dance floor. We danced for a while, but then I felt like my head was getting heavier and heavier. I blacked out against the guy's shirt.

When I woke up again, I was alone. My friend was next to my bed, crying. I looked around for my clothes, but found nothing. I asked my friend what had happened. Sobbing, she told me.

I had been raped.

But I had had not memory of it. I couldn't believe it, so I didn't take any birth control pills or anything. I wasn't convinced until my belly started swelling like a gourd. Then I panicked. I didn't know what to do.

I ran away from home soon after that, escaping to my friend Ryoko's house. She took me in, hiding me in her basement.

Nine months later, I gave birth to a baby boy. Nearly hysterical at that time, I simply named him Yusuke and handed him to Ryoko to take care of. I became increasingly addicted to alcohol and drugs, paying little or no attention to my own son.

It all changed the day that Ryoko got hit by a car and died. It finally woke me up. On a night in late July, I scooped up baby Yusuke and ran.

**_Like my fathers come to pass  
Seven years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_**

I found an apartment and settled down. I forced myself to lay off on the drugs until Yusuke was old enough to take care of himself. Then I went back to the habit again. I was twenty at the time.

One day, Yusuke came home with a bloody nose. I was drunk, but I had enough sense to ask him what happened. He had answered, sullenly, that a boy three years older than him had told him that his mom was a whore. Yusuke, apparently, had broken the boy's arm and was suspended from school for a week.

In that moment, I realized that my secret wasn't a secret anymore. My last name, Urameshi, is an uncommon one, and once people met Yusuke, they'd know what I had done. I didn't know what to think.

I suppose that the truth hurts.

**_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars  
Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_**

There is another highlight in my memory, perhaps a happier one. A week after his suspension, Yusuke came home with a little girl in tow. I was sober then, learning that her name was Keiko Yukimura, child of the Yukimuras that owned the restaurant not far from my apartment. She was very sweet and polite in spite of the mess all around the house. I could tell Yusuke liked her. I was happy for him.

Keiko started coming over more and more often. She was very mature for her age and would sometimes straighten up a few items when she thought I wasn't looking. I didn't mind, obviously, but it made me feel a slight twinge of regret. If I had just been a little more careful, Yusuke could've had a childhood as good as Keiko's. He'd be legitimate, not a bastard child.

It isn't my son's fault that he's a punk. It's mine.

**_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost  
Wake me up when September ends_**

Before I knew it, Yusuke was in junior high and beating up all the kids there. He was failing school. I didn't care.

Then he went and got himself hit by a car.

The resemblance between his death and Ryoko's was sickeningly ironic. I couldn't stop myself from crying at his wake. I had loved my son, but he hadn't been around long enough for me to tell him that. I felt stupid and weak. What was I going to do now?

**_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_**

Then he came back. I was so happy then and wouldn't let him out of my sight for days on end. But he seemed…changed. No, not in personality – in his spirit, like something had been lit inside of him and was making him glow.

Interesting. I bet my son doesn't know that I do have a bit of sixth sense. Must be the alcohol in my system. Makes me see things that are there, but aren't really there. But I won't tell him. He doesn't need to know that.

Then he went on to become a Spirit Detective…blah blah blah. You know the rest.

**_Ring out the bells again  
Like we did when spring began  
Wake me up when September ends_**

I've met his friends. Kuwabara, the clumsy oaf with a big heart. Kurama, the constantly-smiling, unfathomable Spirit Fox. Hiei, the enigmatic midget. And then there were the girls – Botan, the girl with the unnaturally colored hair. Shizuru, Kuwabara's sarcastic sister with a sixth sense topped only by her younger brother's. Yusuke says that there's some other people I have yet to meet, and that he'll bring them by sometime.

Can't wait.

I have to admit – they must have a pretty strange taste if they all are friends with my son. But Yusuke has some kind of charm to him, however tarnished it is from the bad childhood he's had.

He must've gotten it from me.

**_Here comes the rain again  
Falling from the stars  
Drenched in my pain again  
Becoming who we are_**

I see more than most people give me credit for. I might just look like a drunken prostitute to you, but somewhere deep inside me, that innocent little girl that was carefree and blithe lives on.

**_As my memory rests  
But never forgets what I lost  
Wake me up when September ends_**

I had been contemplating on finding a boyfriend for a while, but now I know that Yusuke doesn't need a father. He found one in Raizen, that ancestral dad that's also my father. He's grown up now, independent. All he needs are his friends and Keiko. He doesn't need anyone to take care of him anymore.

He doesn't need me.

**_Summer has come and passed  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_**

I know he and Keiko are going to get married soon. I need to remember to call Keiko over. Tell her that if Yusuke treats her bad, I'll personally castrate him. I don't want my son to do to a girl the very thing that that bastard did to me sixteen years ago. I wouldn't inflict such a pain on anyone. I wouldn't be able to bear seeing Keiko turn from a beautiful, innocentyoung girl into something like me.

**_Like my fathers come to pass  
Twenty years has gone so fast  
Wake me up when September ends_**

Somehow, thinking about all this has helped me to find some semblance of peace. I pull my hair back from my face and straighten out my clothes.

Maybe I'll actually cook dinner tonight. Maybe I'll have Yusuke invite his friends over and have a meal with us. Maybe I won't get drunk for once. Maybe I'll stop drinking once and for all.

**_Wake me up when September ends_**

I place a pot on the stove and begin looking for the ingredients for stew. I hear the door open, and then multiple voices sound.

"Hey, Mom, you there?"

"Yeah," I answer cheerfully, slicing carrots and dumping them into the pot. Yusuke comes around the corner, stopping short when he sees me.

"Whoa. That's a change."

"Thought I'd try one," I retort. Keiko follows Yusuke into the room, as well as Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, Shizuru, and Botan. Keiko comes over to the stove and starts cutting up the meat with an expert hand. She must've learned it form her parents, what with them owning a restaurant and all.

Later, I watch as everyone around the table chats and laughs together. Shizuru draws out a packet of cigarettes and offers me one. I decline. She raises an eyebrow. "Quitting?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

Shizuru winks at me, as if she knows what I'm thinking.

Perhaps I'll quit everything, not just my addiction to drugs. Maybe I'll start over again.

**_Wake me up when September ends..._**

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Yeah…I don't think that this is that great, but REVIEW! 

_Kohaku Minamoto_


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